You would think we’re born the moment we’re made, but it’s quite the opposite. A lot of us are never born, actually. Being made is quite different to us than living with a purpose. I came close to never finding out what it means to be alive and exist in my own objective. I vaguely remember the time before she chose me. It’s more like seeing an unfocused video compared to what I see and experience now. Part of that experience before also didn’t allow me to see. I was in darkness for quite a bit of it. I could only ever overhear conversations with no direction, feel myself being picked up and moved around. But I was never the center of the story.
I first met her briefly, during a warm afternoon. I heard the bells ring, signaling an onslaught of possibilities. Those bells were honestly getting on my nerves at this point. Her laugh stood out first. She sounded different, different than those before her. A ping of hope clashed with my obnoxious inner voice. Another voice came towards me and picked me up immediately. I was brought out to her and that’s when we first met. She purred with compliments and walked me around the room to show off how well we got on. Warnings came near her, of my color, of what I was made of and the risk she would be taking if she would really accept me. Apparently, she wasn’t different enough and her sounding voices won against taking me with her. But I knew, she had that look in her eye. A look that made me feel like I would see her again.
She took me without even trying me on and ran as fast as she could home. Once there, she let me breathe and removed me from the cell that had contained me ever since I was made. Placing me among the others, I could tell she really did take a risk with me. There I was shiny and white, leather skin and white soles and laces that evenly crossed to the pretty bow at top. Compared to me, the few other pairs she displayed on her wall were rough, black and heavy. Still elegant, and with a heel but all showed how well she cared for them despite their outward appearance. My peers warned me somberly that I would be her closest companion now and would get to finally live and see the world and how I had to take care of her for she was special and an adventurer. No one here would sit absentmindedly.
Our first day together was evidence to their warnings. She did not tread lightly. She ran and jumped and walked further and faster than those around her. My shiny white exterior quite quickly became rough and slashed with experiences and evidence of the life I lived everyday with her. But, I would never complain and offered her as much support and protection as I could.
I knew I wasn’t a choice she would make normally make. She was taking a chance on me and expected me to be different and I had to live up to that task. I couldn’t be like the rest, I had to stand out in a way that would make her feel special. Like she truly found a jewel no one bothered to notice.
From white and shiny, to grey and unlayered, I feared she would begin to see the ugliness in me. I was brought out less and sat once again in a dark room. I wondered if this was a reflection of what she initially wanted from me. A jewel unlike the rest, but once the world had seen it, its value meant nothing anymore.
Summer once again, her voice came closer to me and she did not hesitate to choose me. See, regardless of how the world grew and overshadowed on my skin, she saw it as beauty and an example of how far we’ve come together. I’ve become her favorite companion, one she can always and will always depend on even if my layers and white skin eventually disappear.